So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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