ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
