You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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