Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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