Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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