Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
