pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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