dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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