I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
