Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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