distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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