So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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