Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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