dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
