Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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