I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
