He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
