She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
