literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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