your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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