I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
