i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
