woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
