Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
