babies were throwing up all over the place
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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