Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
