Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
