Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
