Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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