so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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