girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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