On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
