After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Panties = found
Randomize
