Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
