quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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