and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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