He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
