I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
