New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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