barbara walters just said penis...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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