Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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