if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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