so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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