Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
