Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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