Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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