The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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