Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
