The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
