Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How does one acquire holy water?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
