Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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